On 26th September 2009, I went over to my boyfriend's place for dinner. It was the first time I paid a visit to his parents. The reason why I chose to blog about this incident because I am amazed by the fact that I was able to apply multiple communication theories to it.
7:20pm, my boyfriend and I were on the way to his home. I was feeling very nervous and could feel my heart beating real fast. It was then intrapersonal communication took place. I engaged myself in self-talk and there were continual conversations going through my head. Saying to myself, "Don't worry, It's okay. I'll do fine and nothing will go wrong. Just as long as I am careful, I will not make any mistakes." With my new found confidence, I strutted down the corridors, hand in hand with him all the way to his home.
He fumbled for his keys and opened the door. I took off my shoes and carefully stepped into the house. Saying a meek hello to all who were present, I handed over a box of mooncakes to his parents. Just this act alone communicates a great deal as in communication, symbols are representative. In a chinese culture, gift giving from the younger generation to the older generation denotes respect. Mooncakes is also significant for a time period such as this for it is in line with the upcoming Mid-Autumn festival celebration.
His mother thanked me and led me to the dinner table. I sat down, picked up the untensils placed in front of me and watched the surroundings to be right before I started eating. I was on my vigilance throughout dinner as I had to constantly self-monitor in order to not blunder. I observed and managed my own actions as I reminded myself not to talk while eating or make too much noise with the untensils.
I understood that as symbol users, we actively interpret events, situations, experiences, and relationships. Moreover, because individuals have different life situations, we interpret communication in varying ways. His mum spoke to me in Mandarin, and as I come from a family who dominatly speaks in English, there was an internal struggle within myself as I tried my very best to speak as fluently as I could in Mandarin. She asked if my family had any plans for the upcoming Mid-Autumn festival celebration and I replied no. It was then that I understood the differing perceptions both mine and my boyfriend's family had on the this festival. My family never really placed much importance on this festival as opposed to the significance my boyfriend's family had attached to it.
Moving on the opposing views of human nature; From this little home visit, it is pretty evident that I strongly adhere to the belief that humans have free will and that they make choices about how to act. Indeed, our choices are not entirely free and there are limitations of biological and social forces which affect what we do. I was constrained by my throwness as the society I live in (especially for chinese culture) emphasizes on respect. As for saturday's home visit, I controlled the choices I made within my throwness. Seeing that my aim was to present the most positive side of myself, I had to portray the image that I was respectful to elderlys while still be able to be myself and act naturally.
In essence, communication is all around. It really fascinates me that just within a couple hours, I could generate so many links with the theories I've learnt in class. It goes to show that never once a second goes by without any form of communication. It really is a very amazing art and I'm more then ready to master it all!
